Once upon time the King of Derry lost his voice. One second he was yanking on a rather pesky new vegetable to the Royal Garden, the Rutabaga, and the next he had no voice. He spent most the day looking for it, then he rested while he had his servants look for it. It wast in the garden shed, it was behind the garden Gnomes, nor was it in the nest of the Royal Swan. The Royal Voice was Royally Gone. Posters were put up all over the Kingdom, and when they didn't help, they put up Billboards on the road out of town, and still nothing. It wasn't until after he commissioned the Royal Acting Troupe, The King’s Men to create a commercial to be performed before all plays in the land, that a dusty Doctor of diminutive size carrying a bag of considerable girth appeared on the doorstep. He commanded that he could bring forth the voice from hiding, and instructed the King to lay back and open his mouth wide. The tiny man allyooped and dove inside the King’s mouth disappearing beyond the King’s Royal Molars. After two turns of the Royal Hour Glass the little person crawled out of the King’s still open mouth, coughed twice, slapped the dust off his coveralls, and shook his head sullenly, no. A tiny child inched between the legs of the Royal Guard and spoke in a voice even smaller than the tiny Doctor. The King leaned down from his bed, and motioned for the child to speak up. “Rutabaga’s steal voices.” The King led the child to where he had been gardening, and they found the purple root. When they cut into it it belched out the King’s Royal Voice, and he caught it with one gulp. The first thing the King said with his voice back was to ban all Rutabagas form the Kingdom, which is good, because they are disgusting and no one should eat them anyway. And they all lived happily ever after.