Jan 9... In Damnum Discimus

Colonel Fluffy McSanderson was more than a little disappointed when he arrived on the Moon. He’d given up a wonderful relationship with White Paws Meowserton with whom he had had 13 beautiful children. He had had a great job testing fragrances from The Body Shop which the various scents would always put his wife in the mood for some loving whenever he got home. 

His brother Brown Eyes had gone to work for a cancer research company and was now addicted to cigarettes and had stage 3 Glaucoma so Fluffy figured he made the right choice on career day in middle school. Smooth Francis, their eldest, was working the good fight growing human ears on his back and whenever White Paws would write their Christmas letter Smooth was always the most spoken about. Everyone in the family was proud. 

This year Fluffy was having a bit of a mid-life crisis and instead of taking up a job working with Snakes as other Mice did at his age, he applied to NASA and out of 6700 applicants he was one of the 12 that made it through the rigorous training alive. No small achievement his wife would say most evenings as she readied herself to be mounted.

To Fluffy family was her dream. Get a good man, then have as many babies as you can. Fluffy’s wallet was getting quite full with all the little pink baby faces, all wrinkled and squinting and sometimes at work he would admit that most days he got some of his kids mixed up. 

And in his old age he found he just didn't have the same stamina as he did back when they had their first 10 kids. He had been looking forward to getting away and space was just the place. No kids crying, no wife asking when he was going to be in the mood. Just him and a whole moon full of green cheese. 

When he stepped off the Moon Lander with his buddies they all felt the same, their bad eyes couldn't even see the Earth, and there was no cheese at all. Just acres and acres of grey rock and dust. Fluffy had hoped to spend the rest of his days laying in the green cheese and getting fat and dying of obesity, but instead Colonel Fluffy McSanderson and his 11 other compatriots of NASA Fact-finding Mission, Code Named: Perdidit Causa slowly died of asphyxiation around 9:52 Eastern Time.

Fluffy’s last thoughts we of his lovely wife and kids, and how sad it was that he felt the need to run away from a woman who loved him. He hoped in his next life he could learn from these mistakes and indeed come back as a Mormon. In that life he lived a full life with his 13 children, and a great spot of land that he would sit on his porch and look at the same Moon that Fluffy was still laying lifeless and forlorn. He would squeeze his wife’s hand, and tell her he loved her, and tell her he would never leave her- he would be happy every day of his life until he died making love to her on a beautiful July evening when he was 83.

James C.